Say it Ain’t So by Weezer

Instead of “Wrestle with Jimmy” I always hear “rustlin jimmies”

Master where’s your blaster

My wife was singing “Hello darkness, smile friend” until she met me. When I heard it I was like, “can you sing that back for me one more time?”

I don’t know how long we laughed but it was equally funny the next day when we remembered it again.

My family sings “More Than a Woman” as “Bald-Headed Woman” and when you hear it, it’s impossible to unhear it.

I’m not sure this song ever made it out of Canada, but Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm by Crash Test Dummies has a verse where a girl in school wouldn’t change with the other girls, and when they made her, she had, in what I thought the lyric was, “burn marks all over her body”. I assumed the song was about child abuse, and they were cigarette burns. The other verses are about a kid with a shock of white hair from “a car crash” and a kid who always has to come home right after school, so it kinda made sense in a consistent enough way…

Anyway, for basically my whole life I thought that’s what the song was about. Turns out the lyrics are “birth marks all over her body”, and the point of the song is more about kids being othered for things outside their control.

I still think I prefer my version…

In the song “Coming Undone” by Korn I thought the line was “i fight my demons with my friends” which is kinda wholesome but its actually “I thought my demons were my friends” which is much sadder :(

In the song “Edge of Seventeen” by Fleetwood Mac, the first line “Just like the white-winged dove”, I misheard as “one-winged dove” for years

You can tell by the way I use my wand, Im a woman-man no automaton.

Stayin Alive circa 2001 on my crappy boombox .

Dirty deeds done with sheeps. They’re dirty deeds and they’re done with sheeps.

When I worked at a grocery store I always heard ‘I hope you dance’ as ‘I want you dead’. The pa speakers were kinda shit and when the song eventually came up on radio on the drive home I was like “ooooooohhh!” out loud in the car by myself because I was wondering what it could possibly be since it was obviously not what I heard it as.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get rid of my friends

My contribution here is to let those who did not know (like me until recently) that the misheard version of lyrics (or phrase) causing them to have a new meaning is called “Mondegreen"

When I was about 10, instead of “smoke two joints”, I thought it was “spoke to Joyce”.

I spoke Joyce in the morning
I spoke to Joyce at night
I spoke to Joyce in the afternoon
it makes me feel alright

I spoke to Joyce in time of peace
and too in time of war
I spoke to Joyce 
before I spoke to Joyce 
and then I spoke some more

Spoooooke to Joyce
that’s what I do!

My mom laughed for 5 full minutes when I told her.

My daughter when she was young: “All the other kids better run, better run, faster than my brother.”

Apparently when I was 3, the song, “If you’re gonna play in Texas,” by Alabama, came out.

I heard, “If you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a parallelogram.”