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Wait wait - the pathway forces you to go through the employees only door, where you are greeted as “the new kid,” and made to fill out paperwork.
In an episode of Nathan Fielder’s Nathan for You, he once convinced a haunted house to try a gimmick that it starts off normal, but halfway in the staff and management freak out that one of the staff accidentally touched a guest, pulls them aside out of the haunted house into normal lighting, and a whole biohazard suit team and ambulance has to quarantine the guest for a bit in a series of escalating interactions that they’ve contracted some highly contagious and deadly disease, before they reveal that it was all part of the haunted house.
Then a real lawyer is waiting at the end asking if they want to sue for emotional distress, because Nathan Fielder wants the haunted house to drum up publicity that it was so scary that they’ve been sued for it.
Jesus Christ, I didn’t think it was possible to see a whole episode of the show within 30 seconds of reading.
The humor mainly comes from overly elaborate execution of fundamentally simple ideas, so it’s usually pretty easy to summarize, even if the sheer amount of effort involved is so far outside the realm of plausible (or cost effective).
The amount of effort that went into the Dumb Starbucks store, or the Michael Richards impersonator leaving a $10,000 tip, were mind bogglingly intricate ways to execute fundamentally simple big picture plans.
His current show, The Rehearsal, really leans into that dynamic, too.
“You forfeit any current unemployment and won’t be eligible for benefits as this is just a seasonal position.”
“We need you to fill out this IRS 1090 form before you can leave.”
“Ah, so here of where I’ll die.”
Haunted Houses are suppose to be recreational, not actual torture!
I had the luxury of scaring a haunted house employee once as a kid.
I saw a dude taking an unscheduled break behind a door through the crack when it opened.
I popped around the other side and yelled “oh fuck” as loud as I could and I got a jump scare out of him. He just said “c’mon man”
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone more tired and defeated than that guy.
The guy in the half gorilla suit is hiding in the shadows. The door locks behind the kids as they enter. He steps into the light and says, “You guys can’t be back here.” He takes a bite. The kids can’t open the door. “You guys can’t be back here”, he repeats a little louder. “You guys can’t be back here!” He drops his sandwich. “YOU GUYS CAN’T BE BACK HERE!”
This is art. You just turned a goofy idea into a horror-writer’s jizzdream. You really should pick up writing if you haven’t already.
But then the gorilla stood up and took off the sweaty guy I thought was real. 😳
I think it’d be better if a door behind them swung shut and a speaker said “You are now employees of the house until your debt is paid”.
Color my jimmies rustled.
Better would be a shower with a skeleton that turns and shrieks. Then if the open the door again that’s when the guy with the chainsaw answers the door.
