All these comments are trying too hard. The only two options are “OK?” and “that watch?”
Verbose disses only work in rap
Aahhhh winner:
“that watch?”
You are awesome. Now the ball is on their side and covered in two layers of diarrhea
Alternatively, “And it’s a very nice watch.” Bonus points for riding the line between nonchalance and condescension while still being a compliment.
Ho I have the same one. That the only one you have?
Or a Guy Richie film.
“Bleedin 'ell. You’ve bin 'ad mate. Blonde Tony was selling those daan the Nags 'ed last week for a pony. 5 for a ton.”
*scratches head with gun*
“Interesting, may I see?” And when they hold their wrist up to you, inspect it closely, then lick it, make some faces like a wine connoisseur, shake your head and say :“It’s fake” turn around and disengage.
Heh, amateur hour. Let me show you my watch.
The 3rd feature really convinced me
Godzila is more likely to keep accurate time.
“I don’t have a car”
A power move when you know they know you have a car and it’s literally parked right outside
Or maybe double down: “I live in my car.”
Do you say shit like that because nobody can tell the difference between your watch and a cheap one?
Holds up wrist sporting a Casio F-91W “Al-Qaida”
Big deal… This watch also costs more than my car.
Serious answer:
That’s cool. What makes it special?
Sometimes people talk about how expensive something they own is simply because they’re proud that they could afford it and even when they’re being tone-deaf, there’s no benefit to getting offended when you could just move the conversation along instead. (Although you might have to listen to them talk about watches.) If they were trying to brag, now they’re stuck trying to explain why the watch is actually worth what they paid and you’re the one judging them.
Cars (and watches) aren’t so expensive that a middle-class person can’t plausibly already own the one he would buy even if money was unlimited. You can act like that’s true about you. My status-conscious former mother in law was bothered by the fact that I owned an old car, but when she would bring it up I would just say “I really like the 2008 model.” She couldn’t argue with that.
I feel special when my 6 year old laptop runs circles around your new shit because I know how to maintain it and don’t install every fucking app I find.
& also you probably know to spec it appropriately; most slow laptops I see have 8 gigs ram.
Is 8 considered little?
Yeah, it’s fine for now. If you’re doing anything more than the absolute basic, you’ll need 16+ now (on Win 11). Somewhat related, but my work computer was stuck, slow, and crashing at 99% utilization on 8GB until I added a card (my money). Now it stays around 85% on 16GB.
For a Windows 11 machine 8GB is getting to be a limitation. Basically for right now its fine, but very soon 16GB will be the new minimum
8 gigs of ram is plenty to run firefox and microsoft office
That’s cool. What makes it special?
Nice one. If it’s only a status thing he’ll scrabble to find something to say about it other than it’s price. And on the very very low chance that it’s not, he’ll have an excuse to explain. Who knows, he might be a watch nerd who’s really proud that he could afford that watch because it’s a special watch to watch nerds for watch related reasons and he’ll tell you all about it.
Sounds like you got ripped off
Nooo bro it increases in value bro I’m investing in watches bro
But it’s gone up $200 since I bought it in 2014!
“So?”
That’s the response you want. Complete andutter boredom. You don’t care. Their entire personality is built around a weird little status structure and if you don’t buy into their hallucination they lose their everloving minds
“Ok” is my go-to. It feels dismissive because it is.
“Okay?”
I am not a friend of clever comebacks. People who point these things out are pathetic and people who get triggered by that only slightly less so.
If you need to point out the watch and explain its value, you’ve already lost.
Why the fuck would I drive a watch ?
“that’s a lot of money for such an ugly watch.”
You see this? This is called a “smart phone.” Not only will this tell me the time like your watch, but it can also do a bunch of other things. I can look at pictures of raccoons wearing silly hats or I can use it to insult someone on the other side of the planet. It also cost a fraction of what your watch cost. I’m sorry to tell you this, but I think it should go and get your money back. It sounds like you’ve been scammed. As a matter of fact, let me give you my friend’s phone number. He’s an accountant, and I think he’ll be able to help stop you from making stupid purchases in the future.
Not only will this tell me the time like your watch
No. A cheap $100 phone is way more reliable than the most expensive Rolex thanks to NTP.
If you’re an astute collector, fine watches are (like art) a solid form of investment.
Prove me wrong: Fine art is a money laundering scheme.
You get some guy who went to art school to slosh some house paint on a sheet. You then hire a white woman who dresses like Malian royalty to come describe it in contradictory adjectives “It’s subtle, yet bold” while her gay sidekick in a turtleneck flamboyantly slaps his face and gasps. Sell $20 worth of cotton and $30 worth of Valspar for $3.247 million, and you’ve just successfully covered up the sale of 94 more brown women.
Prove me wrong: Fine art is a money laundering scheme.
Why would I try when it is a fact? I would caveat that fine art “can be” a money laundering scheme (quite easily). It isn’t always a money laundering scheme.
I guess it’s true, money can’t buy taste.
Fun fact: Alec Baldwin’s character was invented for the movie to provide exposition. The filmmakers didn’t trust movie-going audiences to pick up the information from the three conversations that occur at the beginning of the play.
