Nah, people remember, it was just not that great at breaking hetero stereotypes. It just shifted them to being pretty while still thinking the same way. It was a step for sure, but not really a big one.

What really helped break through the bullshit was gay men coming out and living life. When men started seeing the vast array of masculinity in that community, it allowed new discourse about what masculinity is, outside of the old patriarchal paradigm.

You started seeing more men embrace their self and express it fully. The discussion about being free to express emotions, to be a nuturing man, to be gentle and kind and open with everyone started becoming a possibility instead of a weakness. And nobody had to give up anything to have that freedom. It’s still perfectly fine to be traditionally masculine if that’s who you are, as long as you aren’t trying to define others.

From there, we all got to expand our personal definition of masculine for ourselves. And, as we move into a paradigm where everyone can just be who they are, without any need to label themselves if they don’t want to, we will be able to pick and choose even more. We can explore the fullness of human experience in a way I don’t think has ever been possible. And that is largely thanks to our trans and non binary friends and neighbors stepping up and living their lives without apology.

Hell, if you ask me, the first step was back with the hippies and their long hair. Then the metalheads picking up that baton and running with it through the eighties until that one barrier to looking like a man was gone and likely gone for good. Those guys at the end of the boomer generation looking to escape the trap patriarchy had set for them took the first public step by growing their hair out and still being men, being comfortable with it.

It takes time to shift perceptions. It takes people at the edges being willing to step forward and be the change.