SMOOGGGGGG

I try not to advertise my dating strategy

Step out and sing as loudly as you can “every body and every where! Shit your pants and underwear! With a shake and a jiggle, wiggle that turd like a fiddle!”

Plot twist: this was never a torture device, it’s just a story of the inventor going “go on, admit it, it feels good, don’t it?” that got blown way out of proportion

He’s in us all

This cuckoo has also flown over my brain nest

it’s like, all arbitrary, dude

I sure hope that was unsalted

Maybe they are you don’t know how hot they look

There is a recurring joke in many Addams Family iterations where they’re moon bathing to keep themselves pale. I tried searching for a picture but all I got was porn

Mullholand Drive was about two hot lesbians kissing. Dune was about Kyle MacLachlin trying to figure out a mystery through dreams. Twin Peaks was about Kyle MacLachlin becoming an oppressive tyrant with his newfound powers while consuming a beloved, addictive substance. What’s so hard to get about that?

Mr Burns, please, you’re crossing the line from everyday villainy to cartoonish super-villainy

I mean I missed the memo so thank you

The Hard Times are amazing for articles

deleted by creator

Man in a few million years that tweet is gonna look hella dumb

Canadian avian on a Canadian mammalian

Grieve. Feel it. That’s love. It hurts and it’s heavy, but that’s just the cost of them moving from a physical reality to one of memory and emotion. Don’t shut it out - mitigate it if you have to, bit by bit. But grief, to me, has never been about those you love leaving, that’s just them knocking at your heart’s door, asking to be let in.

When they can’t remember which brown person said what

Stop, I can only be so erect