** Church organ music intensifies…

 "I do renounce him." 

Priest: and all his works?

 "I do renounce them." 

No you’re right. It’s like Mitch Hedberg used to say about drinking though… Still does, but he used to too.

They are, but Wells Fargo too.

I wonder where it got it’s name from?

I knew he got drafted but I didn’t know Silverstein made it to Colonel!

CPT Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.

COL Kurtz: Are my methods unsound?

CPT Willard: I don’t see any method at all, sir.

Flying being a really fun and nice experience.

You could walk your family members/friends right to the gate without going through any screening. As a bonus, everyone wore shoes and not their worst clothes too.

My first flight I was by myself before I was even a teenager yet, and the airline had a specific flight attendant watch after me until my grandparents picked me up on the other side. She was awesome and I kept the flight wings the captain gave me for decades. It was not unusually good customer service.

In fact, before MBAs McKinsey’d the world, interactions at most businesses were actually pleasant… Nearly every restaurant or store actually cared about customer satisfaction in the before times. I can’t tell you how nice that was having a social contract. It was a genuinely nice thing (*racial and gender provisions apply, offer not valid in all areas) Instead of expanding the umbrella to everyone, we drained the public pools and now it’s normal…