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Close enough?

Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

Gun goes… on top?

This is an outrage!

Relevant xkcd?

You can still get a USB-C dongle that supports charging and audio at the same time. It sucks that they make you do it, but I’m glad it’s still an option.

I can think of about four-twenty-ten-seven reasons not to learn French.

Left Shark has really pulled his life together!

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Not just physical mail. The letter had to have the serial numbers of all devices associated with your account.

Sure, let me go digging behind my TV with all of my free time so that I can give you information you already have, dicks.