Doomscrolling to my birth year, and still no jet pack.

Plunging toward oblivion while happily screaming, “10,000’ so far so good, 5,000’ so far so good…”

Live, from Chicago’s famous Studebaker Theater, I’m Herringbone Winehouse sitting in for Peter Sagal on Wait Wait, Don’t Tell Me. Today’s guests have all been rounded up by ICE, so Bill Kurtis and I will exchange obscure yet witty barbs while a sad trumpet plays a downtempo version of the Wait Wait theme in a minor key.

Hmm, that requires Deep Thought.

Jesus saves, Satan invests.

“Sometimes, a balloon knot is just a balloon knot.” Emrys Freud, Sigmund’s duller brother.

Psst, covfe.fe is available. Pass it on.

Ah yes, good old dependency.

You’re the real MVB

Just suckers, like an octopus.

When he shook Chief Justice Roberts’ hand and said “Thank you,” after the State of the Union address, it felt more like a “Great job, here’s your severance check, bu-bye now” kind of Thank You than a gesture of gratitude.

Wait, you mean The Commercial on the White House lawn back in March didn’t move more units?! surprisedpikachuface.jpg

My sympathies exactly, my dear fellow.

Best regards,

A Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaire