I think that’s what the college kids were playing with when I was in high school.

Started college in 1995, and I indeed did have ICQ before too long. Still remember my number (6725571).

You probably had all three installed on your computer and probably all running at once.

I remember using a program called Trillian (which is still around!) in the late 90s/early 00s. It allowed you to connect multiple IM accounts in one app. It was sorta finicky, but it got the job done.

First, you take a run at La Fours with a sock full of nickels. I’d do it, but I pulled my back out humping your mom last night, NOOGE.

On the cuckstool, no less. I feel sorry for his wife, her bull was so disgusted he couldn’t finish.

Seventy thousand dollhairs.

And don’t travel by plane, and don’t travel at all. Build a bomb shelter basement with titanium walls.

You have no idea what I’m capable of in <<City>>. 🤣

Such an obvious mail merge. I’d imagine there is a way to automate pulling the Google Street View images and pasting them in the document, but I don’t know how it’s done.

But yeah, I got version 1 from that article and just shook my head at such a pathetic extortion attempt. I was like, “C’mon now…everyone in my life knows I’m a polyamorous hedonist. I could sell some of them whatever video you could ever possibly have of me that you definitely don’t. 😂”

After the housing bubble burst in late 2008, Democrats approved a stimulus package that Obama signed that sent millions of dollars to the nation’s schools. Then-governor of Texas Rick Perry used those funds to balance his shitty budget. None of it went to schools. The school I was teaching at lost it’s theater arts program, they had to reduce staff by attrition, the district rebalanced staff levels in a Last In First Out manner, we got no cost of living pay increase or step pay increase (same exact pay as the prior year), and class sizes skyrocketed. I didn’t have a middle school math class with fewer than 31 students that year.

The following year, another stimulus package was passed for education. There was language in this bill that specifically said that it MUST be used for education purposes and that the money would be recouped from any state that doesn’t use it toward that end. Then-AG Greg Abbott went to court to fight for Rick Perry’s right to use the money however he wanted.

And finally, the Texas lottery was sold to Texans as a way to provide extra funds to schools. However, that’s not what happens. Instead of funds from the lottery supplementing education, it supplants the funds. It would be like if your dad gave you $100 every year for your birthday, but then one year your grandma gave your dad $20 to give to you, and so your dad just gave you $100 and pocketed the $20.

Texas Republicans don’t give a single solitary fuck about public education. I’d rail on their push for the voucher system, but I finally left that festering shithole and can’t be arsed to give a fuck about it any more.

Danielle Fishel, the actress who played the character Topanga Lawrence on the show Boy Meets World, is married to a comedian named Jensen Karp, who tweeted that he found shrimp tails in his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

After his tweet went viral, writer Melissa Stetten alleged that he was an abuser and stated that other women had reached out to share their own allegations against Karp with her.

Karp being a “milkshake duck” refers to a June 2016 tweet from Aussie cartoonist Ben Ward which read

The whole internet loves Milkshake Duck, a lovely duck that drinks milkshakes! 5 seconds later We regret to inform you the duck is racist

It gave a name to the phenomenon of seemingly harmless individuals’ sordid pasts being called out after a brief brush with fame.

On March 24, 2021, Twitter user @BudrykZack tweeted “Shrimp Cereal Topanga Husband is a MeToo milkshake duck”. The accompanying image is taken from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation called Darmok and is of the character named Darmok who is a member of the Tamarian species which speaks only in metaphors.

“MeToo” refers to the worldwide Me Too movement, that began in 2017, through which survivors of sexual assault and victims of sexual harrassment - mostly women - have come forward to admit to announce their victim hood in order to bring to light how common such assaults are and to demand an end to rape culture.

My favorite piece of text from a few years ago that I was disgusted to be able to parse was “Shrimp cereal Topanga husband is a Me Too milkshake duck.”

Sounds like someone wants to openly use bigoted language without repercussions on privately-owned social media platforms.

I forgot my ANOVA when I moved this summer. Now, I’m not that sorry I did.

JD Vance: I am in favor of all family planning services being banned, because 🎶 surprises let you know He cares! 🎵

Good work, gumshoe.

I’ve taught math at every grade level (elementary, middle school, high school, college) and can confirm this is indeed a universal truth.

His character on Night Court was also fantastic.

I remember my friend showing a BBS that his uncle had got him set up on and being blown away. Also, I guess my parents were impressed by Spokesdude Bronson Pinchot (The Bronster), because they got us a US Videotel console for almost a year.

Price guarantee. However, if we do raise our price…

The ending to that sentence is always moot. You guarantee it. End of. If you don’t follow through on that guarantee, you are a liar.

…if we do raise our price, you can cancel the service with no penalties.

Mfer, you are gonna be the one paying penalties, see your ass in court.

Look at the shell grab here…

Holy shit, this is classic. The next time I let my ADHD get the better of me and I accidentally click on a link in a spoof phishing email (and, yes, try to log in to whatever account they told me there was a problem with because I’m an idiot, you’re so perfect, shut up) sent as a test by the IT department which results in them requiring me to take some KnowBe4 refresher course, I’m sending them this article and telling them “This one is a freebie.”

Is joke.