I ended up using duckdns for a free domain. It sucks that I had to tie it to a google account, and maybe one day this might be an area where I buy a proper domain instead.

I have a glinet Flint3 router that makes it easy to spin up Wireguard servers on it. It was a bit more finnicky, but eventually I was able to get into the advanced settings and configure the router to sync the dynamic IP with DuckDNS too.

So I have Wireguard on my phone and my wife’s phone. We have one pair of close friends who have a connection on their router too (and vice-versa) and their own Jellyfin server.

I would love to take my money elsewhere, but… Where? Everywhere else is just as bad or worse. Half the VPN’s are owner by one Israeli billionaire. I’m running out of options here.

I think that one of reasons gridiron football got so popular in the first place is because of its unique pacing.

A play starts, a few specific actions take place over the course of like, 5-15 seconds usually, then play stops while they set up. This might sound terrible to some people, but this means that there’s space in-between plays for people to talk. Could be talking about what just happened, or trying to predict what will happen next, or about how this fits within the greater context of the game or season. Or it could be talking about the beer or the nachos or whatever else. It makes the games more of a social event.

With the rise of television, this means advertising space and color commentary. Advertising = money, which fuels the entire industry.

This is also why baseball is “America’s favorite past time”. Golf is up there too, and I would even argue that oval track racing in NASCAR kind of follows this trend, because most of the interesting action tends to take place around pit stops (or at least it did when I used to watch it). Its not 100%- basketball and hockey are still popular.

Yellow by Baroness.

Well, technically its a double album: Yellow & Green. And I would say Green is a close second.

Something about it just blew my mind. Like, I had heard Baroness before, stuff from Red and Blue. They had a song or two on the early Guitar Hero games. I just thought “oh another okay metal band, whatever”. Yellow and Green were just… Different. The tone, the vocal style. The whole approach to writing ans playing guitars was different than what i was used to. Thr production has this kind of modern dirtiness, like the noise came from radiation or something. The lyrics are absolutely battling, as they were translated across multiple languages and the meaning was only clinging to them by a thread. The album art is incredible too. The bass is perfect, never too much or too little. The drums use disco and other dance beats along side this metal-ish music in a fantastic way.

It kind of felt it cane fron another dimension. A different timeline where English and western music evolved similarly to ours, but jjsy different enough to be uncanny.

Maybe its just me, but nowadays every public apace is incredibly noisey.

Every bar and restaurant is blaring music. Vehicular traffic, air conditions, all sorts of other machines are pumping noise in too.

I just went out with some people this weekend and found myself wishing we had, noise-canceling headsets to be able to talk to each other. Kinda makes me want to not go out any more.

Kape (and thus all of the VPNs they have purchased) is owned by Ted Saggi, an Israeli billionaire.

And yes, they are legally headquartered in London, but how meaningful is that? There’s hundreds of US companies that are headquartered into a handful of buildings in Delaware for legal and tax reasons. Their “development center” is based in Tel Aviv.

https://cyberinsider.com/kape-technologies-owns-expressvpn-cyberghost-pia-zenmate-vpn-review-sites/

For me its a spectrum, making my own judgment for each piece of media.

Copyright laws in the US have changed a lot over the last century, largely due to regulatory capture. The older versions of copyright law are mostly around 14-28 years after creation and those seem fair to me. So I don’t feel bad about anything >30 years old.

Another factor is the sliding spectrum between art as an altruistic creative experience versus art as a capitalist product created by gigantic corporations. Heavily monetized art tends to be stuff I enjoy less anyways so this kind of filters itself out. Its all formulaic and trend-chasing, largely the made by the same small group of people and rebranded with different faces. If I do ever want big-budget, mainstream content I don’t feel bad about not paying for it.

Sometimes its about convenience. There are a handful of creators still on YouTube that I like, and one of these days I want to get around to setting up yt-dlp and adding their channels to my Jellyfin to get around all the terrible ads of the platform, but I’ll probably buy some merch or throw them some money on Patreon or whatever to try to compensate for it. I also prefer to buy CD’s and merch from bands at their live shows where a higher % of the proceeds goes to the artist.

How were they broken?

Uber is too expensive these days

That was always the goal. Uber and Lyft prices were heavily subsidized early on. Their investors poured billions into them in order to not just establish market share, but tk drive existing taxi services out of business. Taxi services that had things like: fleets of company-owned vehicles instead of personal vehicles, commercials grade maintenance schedules, stricter licensing requirements for drivers, unionized employees instead of independent contractors, etc

Uber and Lyft just plain ignored a lot of existing regulations by saying “those don’t apply because this is an app” to legislators who were too old to know how to turn on a smart phone. They got the public on-board by temporarily offering artificially low prices and high payouts to drivers. Now they have established themselves and removed the competition, so the payouts are going down and the prices are going up.

There are still some US cities that do not allow Uber or Lyft to operate, and there are other countries in the world that do the same.

No, though I eentftom not dreaming at all (or not remembering them) to dreaming occasionally.

I smoked weed and went progressively harder for the last few years.I really enjoyed it a lot: my joints felt better, sleep was easier, I found more joy in movies, TV shows, music, food, and sex. Exercise was easier and I lost weight.

Starting last fall I noticed my memory was getting bad, and at times my mind woukd just shut down. So at first I cut back, then stopped it entirely. Been completely off for 3 months nkw, which should be more than enough time for all the THC to be out of my system and my canmabanoid receptors to be reset. I never used it until my 30’s so there should.be pretty much no risk of long-term issues.

Since then, I’m proud to report that those same problems just got even worse AND I’ve lost all of the benefits! Yay!

My router (GLI.net Flint 3) makes it really easy to set up Wireguard servers on it, and from there all I needed to do was get a domain name to use. Set up Wireguard on my phone, and I can access my local network remotely without needing to pay for a VPN subscription. I still use Mullvad, but that’s for privacy not remote access.

I think a LOT of people require external validation to feel good about themselves. Its why we see places like Facebook and Reddit fracture into echo chambers, and why humans separate themselves into social groups based on similarities. Groups then can outcast the “others” which creates a social floor. As long as you’re within Group, you know you aren’t as bad as those Others over there. At the same time, the people within Group build each other uo and reinforce their common behaviors. Dissimilar behaviors within the group leads to either note fracturing within the group, or leads to people changing their behaviors and homogenizing.

When I was last in a band, I noticed the pattern. The 3 of us would each write things on our own that sounded unique, like our individual selves. When we brought the pieces together, or wrote songs together, the result was bland and generic stuff. All of our respective rough edges that made us interesting were rubbed smooth to make room for each other. And the songs that seemed to do the best with crowds were the smoothest ones (not that we had a ton of success- we played a handful of gigs before the pandemic hit and they ended up moving away).

I’ve noticed a lot lately that introverts in media are often portrayed as broken. Evangelion is one of my favorite anime, but its guilty of this. Shinji is often used in memes and internet culture to represent an introvert, but pretty much every scene where we see him alone he is miserable and craving some external validation. When I’m alone I usually just feel at peace.

I think a lot of people fear themselves, their own thoughts. They consider “being in your own head” a bad thing, like your own thoughts are scary.

My older sister is autistic and we were recently talking about traveling. She said that she prefers to travel alone so she can just wander around a new city at her own pace without having to consider the needs of her husband or children or friends kr anyone else, and I related to that a lot. I may also be autistic- I’m waiting for my assessment results lol.

Thr unsavory businesses are paying a premium for being unsavory. There are SOME people who will not work there, which reduces the size of the labor pool and drives prices up. There are others who can be bought, for a price, and that also drives prices up.

Industries with neutral or beneficial impacts on society do have this pressure, so the wages are lower. Simple supply and demand.

I started last year, for several reasons. Most of which werr related to my wife and I creating a polycule with another couple a year earlier. After 1 year in I did some evaluation and realized I needed to make some changes, and journaling was an answer for a lot of those.

1. Memory. I’m almost certainly on the autistic spectrum, and for most of my life I’ve had a remarkably good memory. Not “photographic”, and I known better than to trust any human memory too much, but in general I was pretty good at remembering details. I am also very introverted. I like to spend time alone, reflecting on the last couple of days and solidifying my memories in meditation.

Being in a polycule means that I both have much less time for that meditation and much more stuff to remember. I also was a mild THC user before, mostly for my knee pain or jjsy because getting high on occasion is fun. But ibstatted leaning on it more heavily to deal with the stress of constant socialization.

So when I found myself in conversations remembering that I had been told things, but unable to remember what they were. Like my girlfriend’s home town or my boyfriend’s favorite Zelda game. Not stuff they even necessarily expected me to remember, but stuff I felt bad for forgetting.

2. Validation and evaluation. One of the establishing philosophies of the polycule we talked about up-front was that we woukd still prioritize our respective marriages. We were all established adults and homeowners with no children- this wasn’t a full joining-of-households or roomates situation. Last summer I started to feel like my wife wasn’t spending much time with me though. I started journaling and after a few months found that, sure enough, we had pretty much stopped doing all of the things the two of us used to do together (playing videogames, watching TV and movies ,etc). It is not at all that I minded her spending time with the other people, but when she WAS home with me she woukd just lay on the couch reading, sleeping, scrolling Instagram, or playing Stardew Valley.

My wife also has a medical condition that derailed her career, so a while ago we decided it made more sense for her to stop working and be a homemaker. So I became the sole income earner, and she took over the chores we used to split(laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc). I would still contribute on occssion: I am not some boomer stereotype of a man who doesn’t know how a laundry machine works, and I like to cook on occasion. But as she spent more and more time with our girlfriend and boyfriend she also did less and less of those chores. It led to a lot of Saturday mornings, which are supposed to be so e relaxing time off work for me, but instead I need to spend time cleaning or scooping the litter or getting groceries because she didn’t do it, and with our gf & bf coming over that night I want the house to be respectable.

I FELT all of these things, and discussed them with her a little bit, but journaling gave me the confidencd to talk to my wife about it, provide details, and help her to see what she was doing too. When I said that we never did anything together anymore, her first reaction was “wait didn’t we just watch that TV show like a week or two ago?”. And because of journaling I was able to say “that was 5 months ago”.

3. Working through feelings. For most of my life I have done this without needing to write anything down. I would just spend some time alone and, well, think. Let the thoughts and feelings flow naturally and sort them out. But with so much less time to myself I wanted to take a more direct and active approach. I still think I prefer my natural approach- doing it through journalling feels forced and rushed. But its better than just struggling.

4. Monitoring health. I weighed 207lbs when we started this polycule, and now I’m down to 161. Largely due to a couple stints of low-carb dieting.

Also, not to get too graphic but group sex is very different from duo or solo. So having a record of how things have gone and how I’ve felt about things has been nice.

I should also note that for the first 6 months, I just logged narratively. I tried to remember to write down important things, tried to predict what my future self might want to go back and check later. Using keywords I would know to search for (digital is better for me- I use Joplin). After 6 months, I decided to pull out some key measurables and use a separate app to log those. My weed and alcohol use, exercise, and sexual activity.

I don’t see Steven Universe mentioned anywhere. That might be my all-time favorite, and slots right in with the likes of Adventure Time and She-Ra.

Sticking to the Adventure Time-related ones, Over the Garden Wall is great and very autumnal. My wife ans I try to watch that every October. Gravity Falls is also great, especially for the summer since it takes place over the course of one summer vacation. Bravest Warriors is okay- not a must-watch, but decent. Bee and Puppycat is pretty solid and chill.

For slightly older crowds (I see yoy have stuff like Gurren Lagan on here), Midnight Gospel is pretty good and also from Adventure Time’s showrunner.

For other anime, there is always Fullmetal Alchemist. Saiki K if you can get past the fast editing. Kenichi: The Mightiest Disciple is one that’s probably just “okay” but I like a lot.

Centaur World was surprisingly good.

The best way to win the game is to not play.

Reddit had a lot of issues and I am glad I left, but one sub I really liked and wish Lemmy had was r/anticonsumption. You make a great point about razors, but that already relied on the assumption that you have decided to shave.

That is not to say that shaving is bad, but to recommend that all individuals think about it. WHY do they want to shave, and how much time and money do they want to put into that? How much of it is mere societal expectation, and is that really worth it?

Look at the Got Milk campaign as another example. That was not promoting any particular company, just the concept of consuming dairy, and led to disastrous health, environmental, and economic consequences in the US today.

The problem is that downvotes do not work. They do not function as an incentive for these users to stop posting, because they do not matter at all.

It can work on larger platforms, where thousands, or even tens of thousands of people vote. There the users form roles based on how they sort the posts. People who sort by New are well aware that they are going to have to sift through a lot of trash, but their reward is that they get to have a more active role in setting the taste for the entire community. Because then you have people who sort by Hot or Active, which tends to be the majority of users in most communities (and is often the default). So in communities with dozens of posts, hundreds of comments, and thousands of votes every day, the things the community doesn’t like gets buried.

The Fediverse is too small for that system to work. There simply is not enough posts, comments, and votes to make any of that meaningful. The same users can just spam the same authors over and over again, and it doesn’t matter whether the post gets 100 upvotes or 100 dpwnvotes- the whole community is going to see it in their feed regardless. And it’s not as if having negative "karma"really matters.

One of tbr systems Reddit had to combat this was that karma occasionally mattered. Some subreddits would require karma to join, or ban if your karma dropped. I’m not sure if the tools exist for something like that here or not. There are a lot of different t ways you can slice up the numbers, but basically looking at post history, ratios of up/down votes, total down votes, etc. Effectively letting community feedback drive the moderation process.

That’s still not perfect because users can block/mute other users. Doing so would effectively be abstaining from voting, and that’s not the healthiest system. But we shouldn’t let perfect be the enemy of good.

OK boomer