Shine on, you crazy diamond

Yeah also 4chan

Yeah I think Dr. Prepper can write a prescription for that

If you want my squidbod
And you think I’m slimy

Ooh baby sexy slimy squid bod

David Duchovny too!

I wish! My mom is DEVOUT. She has no sense of humor about it. If any of us tried to joke about it she’d send us right to purgatory (aka the catholic pattern buffer).

Yeah my dad is a Jewish atheist (or agnostic, depending on how much he feels like placating my catholic mom lol)

Recently Trump was selling $100K gold watches; I’m assuming it was mostly maga folks who bought them

Murr SAY deez

Ooh I do mulled apple cider in the crock pot with cinnamon sticks, star anise, cloves, ginger, allspice, cardamom, nutmeg, and orange slices. Bottle of spiced rum on the side for those who want it. People really love it!

Different strokes for different folks… more for me! 🎃🍺

Oh man there is (or was, I’m too lazy to check) a restaurant in Philly that had walls that were transparent when you were outside the bathroom but when you locked the door became opaque from the outside but were still transparent from the inside and it was WEIRD pissing in there. Paranoia to the max

And it’s a sad, sad world

3 feet. Roughly a meter.

I don’t know if this is true but I’ve read that, in their fountain sodas, McDonald’s uses like 15% more flavoring syrup than what’s recommended, so the sodas taste extra good

Oh shit you’re right - I just looked this up and he’s from Brick City (nickname for Newark). For years I’ve thought he was from brick!

As a New Jerseyan, I get it, and also, fuck you. 😘

They don’t call us the Garden State for nothing. Northwest New Jersey is beautiful, very rural with loads of outdoors activities along the Delaware. Central Jersey has Princeton, which along with the gorgeous campus has a super beautiful downtown. There are farmstands with fresh Jersey tomatoes, corn, and peaches all over the place, and we have a bunch of nice wineries!We also have the Pine Barrens (home of the Jersey Devil!) which are beautiful. And despite that stupid MTV show*, the shore is not just loads of drunken assholes. It has tons of boardwalk stuff to do, and the beaches with tags are usually pretty nice. Plus we have Atlantic City!

*(Side note: the cast of Jersey Shore are fucking bennies from New York, they’re not even from NJ.)

When people shit on New Jersey, they’re thinking of Camden (Philly’s fault), Newark (NYC’s fault) and possibly Brick (which is where Redman comes from and which I’m told has improved quite a bit, though I can’t really say as I haven’t been in a while) (nevermind). There are definitely ugly industrial areas of NJ, but that’s not the entirety of the state.

Come visit. Have a pork roll, egg, and cheese on a bagel. Bike down the boardwalk. Spend a day at Great Adventure. Check out Lambertville (and New Hope!). Go tubing down the Delaware. And then when you hear someone bash NJ in the future, you’ll be able to defend us ;)

What a fucking twat.