Rubber ducks can’t write comments repeatedly asking for clarification on Jira tickets that just say “[X] doesn’t work” or attend pointless meetings. They still need devs for that.

On the other hand, rubber ducks also lack the sentience required to reflect, with dissolutionment, on a career that’s been wasted working on poorly executed projects which were doomed to failure.

Lucky little yellow bastards.

Insurance Companies: “Climate related disasters are acts of God.”

Also Insurance Companies: “Welp, time for us to GTFO of places where ‘acts of God’ seem to be occuring with increasing frequency.”

And boy are they hungry.

Chronic lead poisoning at an early age is a hell of a drug.

I had to sign up for a business account because of Cox’s data cap. Sadly they’re my only option and they suck ass.

I once worked for a big corporation that makes hydraulic rescue tools, where management somehow failed to grasp that the chief selling point of these tools is that they do the job reliably every time. No firefighter wants to be trying to get someone out of a car like, “Damnit! The cutter is acting up again. We should probably look into that.”

But the executives kept demanding that we add “features” to the tools that effectively compromised the reliability and then got all surprised Pikachu face when it was explained to them that the customers thought the tools were overpriced half-assed garbage.

I guess my point is I’ve seen plenty of incredibly stupid examples of management ignoring the engineers and yet somehow Musk demanding that radar be scrapped in favor of cameras is right at the top of the list. Especially if you want your customers to live long enough to buy your products more than once.

Reddit was never “mainstream social media”. Annecdotally, I have heard more people referring to Reddit in casual conversation so maybe it is becoming more widely accepted.

If that’s true, then I still have no regrets about leaving. If I wanted to look at a news feed full of hot garbage I would have stayed on Facebook.

Oh, you can defraud shareholders as well. You just have to tell more compelling lies and secure the right accomplices. Get the auditors on board and you can ride the sinking ship for at least a couple years before you finally run out of cash and the entire organization collapses within a matter of days.

Why use many frame when few frame do trick?

Monster: “I’m just going to go chill in this dark basement for a bit. Nobody is going to come bother me in here.”

I hear a lot of devs that don’t seem to get this.

“WhY wOuLd YoU uSe ExCeL? I pReFeR tO cOdE mY oWn SoLuTiOn.”

No, Why would I spend a week coding something that I can create a pivot table and some charts for in an hour? Especially when if I code it myself, that means I now own and have to support my lovely new utility. Time is money and I’ve got way more important things to do than build custom reporting suites that no one except me is ever going to use.

Lol Google sheets has nowhere near the capabilities of Excel. They’re not even in the same class.

And still the spreadsheet gold standard. Microsoft gets plenty of shit wrong but Excel is one thing they got right.

Ceiling fans are actually quite secure if they’re mounted and balanced properly. Problem is that a lot of people don’t know that:

A.) You can’t just bolt a fan onto a junction box designed to hold a light. Well, you can but it’ll eventually fall out of the ceiling.

B.) You can balance the fan by adding weights that stick on the back of the blades.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, I was already awake from the phone ringing.”

One of those moments when I’m glad my wife cares almost as little about social media as I do.

My wife tells me dad jokes. Really really terrible dad jokes. Ones that make me roll my eyes, and I’m a dad. That’s how bad they are. But they make her laugh so I’m ok with that.

Walmart is in the process of acquiring Vizio for the express purpose of using TV’s to serve advertisements.

She does it to me! Let’s one rip and with a mischievous little grin says, “I toot.”