Lol yeah, except the Apple guy’s name is actually Tim Cook. But then Trump called him Tim Apple and it became a meme.

His build up to the announcement cracked me up:

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Goddamn Peppa Pig is indoctrinating our youth!

Fucked the shit out of bears

The flight from Denver to Las Vegas is just over an hour. I was meeting some friends in Vegas for a bachelor party and texted them saying I was taking off. The conversation went like this:

Me: Flight is taking off now, will text you when I get in.

Friend: Just sat down at the blackjack table at Treasure Island. See you in a bit.

Time skip ahead to me landing.

Me: Just landed. You still at Treasure Island?

Friend: I’m down 4 grand. Went back to the hotel.

Is it weird with your cold water? Looking into it, it seems like it fills up your come water pipe with warm water. Wondering if that affects drinking water coming from your refrigerator or anything like that.

I didn’t know that was a thing! I’ve been thinking of that exact same thing for years, wondering if it was even technically feasible and wondering why it wasn’t a standard in new home construction. I can’t imagine how much water is wasted by people just waiting for their showers to heat up.

Then again, my local water company recycles waste water from people’s homes. So maybe requiring it isn’t necessary with modern water recycling programs.

All about that dussy!

Didn’t they actually have people in robot costumes previously though?

“Alright, let’s turn on the AI Mega-Thinker 3000 ^TM and see what it says about solving climate change.”

INVEST IN RENEWABLE ENERGY AND OVERTHROW THE BILLIONAIRE CLASS

“…well that can’t be right.”

Sometimes the Frank is an AI that is wrong 90% of the time. That’s fine, because reasons $$$.

This is how my wife uses The Carousel of Progress when we go to Disney World.

Hose!!!

Moo Deng was pretty good on SNL Weekend update this weekend. https://youtu.be/vfIbbP3vuwA

Hey get back here!

Nobody remember the time someone had their fly open and only one person noticed

I dunno, there was that one person in the last shot of Teen Wolf who had their fly open and then it spawns decades worth of articles. I don’t think anyone noticed at the time, but now lots of people have remembered it

Lmao I was unaware that all these Moo Deng images existed. That’s fantastic

I know there are vast ethical issues with genetic experimentation; but if they find a way to keep an animal from aging, I will be the first in line at the baby hippo store.

Moo Deng would never hurt a soul!

Actually that’s not true. She tried to munch that zookeeper’s knees. She’s just too little to efficiently murder someone yet.