She did. It was, however, mysteriously very shaken up. No idea how that happened.

It’s at least evil clever.

I was chilling on the couch watching tv when my roommate came home. She left her purse on the kitchen counter, then came to join me on the couch. I realized after she sat down that I was thirsty, and I’d missed my opportunity to ask her to grab something for me when she was in the kitchen. So I sent a text to her phone, which was still in her purse on the kitchen counter.

She groaned, then got up to check her message:

“Hey, since you’re up anyway, can you grab me a soda from the fridge?”

I remember when I was a senior in high school back in the late 90s, my biology teacher mused one day that ours might be the first generation to not die of old age. I don’t know if I’m anywhere near as optimistic now as he was then, but it is incredibly exciting to think about. There have been a slew of discoveries over the past 20 years that have been building towards this, and it’s all been very fascinating. No idea if this is the grail or not, but it certainly seems like an important piece of the puzzle.

Gordon Ramsay being the unholy hatechild of John C Reilly and Ellen DeGeneres feels morally wrong, but factually correct.

You guys get 12 hours??? Must be nice.

I really like that poem “Ozymandias”, by Percy Bysshe Shelley. The point of it is: no matter what kind of outsized impact you have on the world when you’re alive, eventually no trace of you will remain, and everything you ever were and everything you’ve ever done will be forgotten.

It’s a heavy, depressing message, but I find it to be oddly freeing. If nothing you do will matter in the very long run, then you’re free to do whatever you want. Maybe you decide that you don’t care about the people 25,000 years from now and focus instead on the people in your life right now. Maybe you make it your goal to make their lives better.

You could succumb to depression and fall into a pit of despair and heavy drug use… but if nothing matters, why not spend your time making other people’s lives better instead? It feels good to make other people feel good.

No, they do exist. It’s just that everything is fish.

I read an article several years ago that was arguing that blackberry plants should be classed as carnivores. The idea sounds absolutely absurd, but the more you squint at it, the more sense it makes. Blackberry bushes grow incredibly dense thickets of brambles, and those brambles snag and don’t let go easily. Shepherds in areas with blackberry bushes often have to rescue sheep that eat the blackberries and get stuck in the brambles. If they don’t get rescued, they’ll eventually die and decompose, thus adding a bunch of nitrogen and other useful chemicals to the soil which cause the plant to become larger and healthier.

So while they don’t actively kill creatures like the venus fly trap or pitcher plants, they do grow in a way that can trap and kill animals, and they benefit hugely from the nutrients those animals provide.

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It was a publicity stunt to promote his tax policy that lets certain people deduct up to $25k on tips. A random doordash driver would not be allowed access; even given how deeply incompetent everybody is over there, there are still SOME security restrictions in place.

I think it must have been a typo, and OP meant to write “Cunting”. Trump truly is the most cunting cunt ever.

Yeah… the president of the United States of America posted this picture on his social media platform earlier today:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-79-posts-himself-as-christ-after-bonkers-pope-attack/

This AI slop is just an improvement on the AI slop he posted earlier.

I adore the whimsy of this.

Sad to see the old Zombo.com go, but this new jingle is legitimately a fucking banger.

Which one always tells the truth?

Ok. But what if we keep doing it? It’s good for the environment, and it’s a great source of steady employment opportunities.

As others in this thread have said, they’re attacking US military bases. Problem is two-fold: missiles aren’t always 100% accurate due to malfunctions, poor design, or anti-guidance EW systems, also the bases are surrounded by ballistic missile defenses, which basically shoot missiles at incoming missiles. This means that there is a strong likelihood that nearby civilian areas will be hit.

I think you vastly underestimate people. There are 10s of millions of them who are different combinations of both stupid and evil.

My ego. :(