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Cake day: April 30th, 2024

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  • I talked in other comments about the legislative implications. But here I would like to give a more personal one.

    For instance, I would love to have the answer for myself. Because I have asked myself plenty of times “Am I a woman?”, and that leads to de subsequent question “What it means to be a Woman?”, “What I want to be is a Woman or is anything else?”. I know that only I can answer that question. But I want to know why I have to make that question to myself. Why society considers “being a Woman” something? Because that question didn’t came out of nowhere. It came because I, as a person who lives in a society with other people, see people who calls themselves man, woman or other things. And while trying to decide what I want to be, or what I already am, need to take what other people are into consideration.

    Idk, if I’m explaining myself. I’ll give a dumb example: Maybe I want to be an Astronaut, but before becoming an Astronaut I need to know what an Astronaut is. Because Astronaut is a profession in our society, and it can be defined. In this context is easy, because I would love to be an Astronaut because I would love to go to space. But, if I love to be a Woman, why is it? What is the “going to space” of being a woman?


  • I agree to an extend.

    I would love to live in a word where all of that does not matter.

    But for instance, imagine if we stop taking race into account in the USA (not American but I’m soaked in American culture). How would people know and being able to prove that some race is being discriminated against if the people does not have a definition on some people being part of one or other race.

    I despise racial classification. Seems wrong, it works wrong as races are all mixed. But it can work against racism.

    For instance, in my country, racial classification is ilegal. There cannot exist any registry on anyones race whatsoever. So black people here does not have statistical data to prove they are being discriminated against. They have a harder time fighting against racism somehow because their race is not allow to be recorded anywhere.

    So I don’t really know if, same as gender, I want to know people’s race or not. Feels wrong, but also useful to fight against discrimination.


  • Nah. That’s just sex.

    But there’s been long proved that what we call gender is not 100% defined by sex.

    For instance, our traditional gendered bathrooms. The concept does not work if we just take sex into account. As the reasons we have for segregating bathrooms in genders does just not work if people have a different presentation, external sexual characteristics or behavior, that it is traditionally assumed for one sex or the other.

    To put intro crude words. Women that would like to have a women exclusive bathroom would really not be happy if someone walks into that externally looks and behaves, and even have the sexual characteristics of what they perceive as a man. It would not matter if that person would have XX instead of XY.


  • For instance, the “women’s court” I talked. Which is part of a law called “law against violence on women”.

    I will give you the official explanation and the one with more consensus on the feminist movement. Even tho I don’t really understand it for reasons I will explain later.

    The law defines violence against women as “violence that it is applied to women just for the matter of being women”. This assumes that this kind of violence only applies to women being hurt by man. This is the consensus, this is the slongan.

    I do not understand it as I do not understand what it is to be a woman, to begin with, so I cannot understand that explanation.

    But I understand that there’s a lot of people, that call themselves women, that are hurt by people that call themselves men. And some legislation that tried to specifically protect the group that is being targeted seems ok. Like really if this are the figures, if men are hurting women more than women are hurting men. And if we had had s “neutral” legislation that did not solve this issue before… It seems logical, at least to me, that maybe it is a problem that should be tacked on a gendered perspective. Maybe it is something gendered on that kind of violence. And thus maybe gender needs to come into place.

    I don’t know if giving an example is the best way to go about this. And in whatever example I come up with I certainly won’t be comparing “women” with that example. I’m just trying to exemplify other cases when “neutral” legislation may not be the best approach.

    For instance, different legislation on children and adults, or when adults hurt children, being different that when a kid hurts and adults. Again, and this is important, women are not children. It is just an example where differentiation may be needed to solve a problem.

    You will notice that I didn’t brought the “women sports” example here. It is the classic issue on this matter. But for me sports are not important so really, I could just get rid of all professional sports and get done with it. Though if I liked sports the question would be similar, as I get why some people want to have gendered segregated sports. I also get with a trans woman should be able to compete in women league. And I also get why if we just adhere to the “being a woman is just saying so” approach then there a place for fraud in cis males breaking the women league. I’m glad I just don’t like sports because it is a complex matter too

    I don’t know. I’m not 100% on board with one opinion or other on the matter. I would really just want to do whatever leads to better society, with less violence. But I don’t know the better approach here.


  • I literally never said anything against non binary, but ok.

    I’m just explaining the legislation you asked me to explain.

    Legislation on my country does not take non-binary as an option. So I didn’t talk about it. We could have talked about it if you asked about that, as I have lots to say as an non-binary person that really does not fit within my country own legislation on gender.

    I feel like you are not really reading me. And I’m feeling more hostility towards my person that I want to feel. So I’m out.

    Have a good day.


  • I didn’t say I thought it was necessary. It exists, that’s just it.

    Necessary or not, is, again. A very complex question.

    I’m Spanish, from Spain/Europe. We have some laws made in favour of women. For instance, a special court of law that is only invoke in a case of a man hurting a woman he had a romantic relationship with. It’s called “Juzgados de la mujer”. We have also gender quota por power positions they have historically not being allowed to occupy.

    This may seem logical, as there are thousands of women killed by their male partners

    We also have, recently, a law that allows anyone to change their gender at any time, no questions, no prove requires to being trans to do so. You can just go to the civil office and change your gender.

    This also may seem logical. As trans are usually prosecuted and can get denied a gender change if the civil official didn’t like them.

    But with these two things in place we happened to had a big number of cis males, that are 100% cis, going to change their gender just to get “inmunity” to “Womens court”. Also several cases of cis males changing their gender to get into womens quota required for some positions (for instance here there’s benefits and sometimes is required that half of the directive positions are filled by women).

    So we have a conflict here. At least I see a conflict. I don’t even have the answer on what to do, as two of both things seem right to me (supporting a positive discrimination for a historically discriminated group and helping trans to be what they truly are). But cis males being able to break positive discrimination and mocking trans at the same time feels wrong to me.

    And the ultimate question to this topic is “What it is to be a woman”. For what I do not have the answer, but I would love to know.

    And of course, in my book we all would be genderless, and there would be no discrimination. But my personal utopia is, sadly, not the world we live on.


  • I don’t think it is that simple.

    Women are treated different that men in many societies. In my country there are multiple laws that apply different to a person if it is a woman or a man.

    If we are making legislative differentiation because those words, we ought to have them well defined and understand what we are meaning and why we say that a women gets X law applied that a man gets not.

    If it is irrelevant it should be, at least, legislatively irrelevant. If it’s meaningful we should be clear on what we are defining by woman (or any other gender that gets particular legislation applied for all that matters).

    That without talking about the social importance of being a gendered society. I don’t know any single society that is not gendered. Once again, if it is irrelevant then we should aim for genderless society. If it is relevant we should know and agree on what it is to be one gender or other.




  • As I said I reject that extremist premise.

    I declare it an extremist idea because is a “Black or white” “All or nothing” thing. We all need to have those biases so “some people” feel better about themselves, one way or the other.

    I do not have those biases. That’s just it. The only thing I deny is a false accusation made by people that does not know me.

    Because those people could came a say to me “see this behavior you had” that’s a little sexist. But not, they are unable to point such behavior, they just assume it must exist, because it’s part of their dogma.

    I’m totally ok to just being pointed at something I made wrong and willing to correct it. But point it first. Not just assume that wrong behavior exist just because of a dogma.

    And I also believe that accusing people of things they have not done just to fit a rhetoric is part of the cause of the disengagement of some collectives with the political mainstream left. Why would anyone would want to be near people that want humilliation, responsability and reparations for things one have just not done?


  • Sometimes it feels like a man need to feel guilty just for being a man, even if they have done absolutely nothing wrong.

    I don’t know in America. Here in Spain there is a trend in which to be “feminist” somehow you have to admit that you are a little sexist, because are men are sexist even a little. It is an absolute. It’s not even “a majority of men…” its all, no other opinions accepted.

    And if you decline that premise, and just say “I’m not sexist, I treat everyone the same despite gender” you are somehow lying and trying to hide your sexism, which makes you a bad person or something.

    And I refuse that. I refuse to accept having done things that I have not done. Same I reject accepting responsibility for things I have not made or enabled. And some people still want me to accept that guilt.

    That trend needs to die. I know that it creates sorority making the “all of us vs all of them” rhetoric, but my humble believe is that that path do not lead to the desired destination.

    Edit: I was going to start the comment with “As a man” as it was my assigned at birth gender. But in all true and while for confort I just let most people treat me with masculine gender I just do not believe in gender as a social construct. Not that I do not believe as in I do not believe it exist, I do not believe that gender is a desirable social construct we need to keep in our society. But that’s just my opinion.