I once experienced an episode of sleep paralysis with auditory hallucinations. I heard a deep masculine voice speaking in a guttural language that seemed just on the edge of being comprehensible to me. As if it were the primeval language from which all others sprang. The feel of the language in my ear was as familiar as my native tongue. I recognized the cadence, I could discern where one word ended and the next began, whether a sentence was a question, and so forth. But the words themselves were somehow alien.

I strained my senses trying to hear the voice more clearly. What horrible prophesy was I being given? What dreadful task have I been appointed? Am I the keymaster? The antichrist? Am I dying? Oh shit, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m dying and going to hell. Fuckfuckfuck. Um. I accept Jesus as my savior? …Buddha? …Joe Pesci?

Then I snapped out of it and the voice turned out to be the muffled sound of my neighbor’s TV. Praise be to Joe Pesci!

For one, the shark is not at fault. The swimmer is. Which doesn’t really fit the overall message.

https://www.kingdomofloathing.com/

A free text-based RPG browser game with a unique sense of absurdist humor.

Fair game.

Yuh

“Old money” vs. “New money” is a particularly American concept, though.

Your nervous system has finite bandwidth. The extra movement and sensation signals drown out the “need to pee” signal, making it seem less urgent. It’s also why we rub the area around minor injuries to relieve pain.

AFAIK California doesn’t require a license for ebikes.

It is a theory to explain how genie knows about things like automobiles and 20th century movie stars. It posits that these are only anachronisms if the story is set in the past, as commonly assumed. But setting it in the far distant future eliminates the problem. It also explains the apparent “magic” in the world as remnants of a fallen high-tech civilization.

Rajah the tiger? Genetic engineered. Magic carpet? Hover tech. Buried stop signs (video game only)? Ancient relic. It’s really quite surprising how well this theory fits.

Throw in the fan theory that Disney’s version takes place thousands of years in the future.

You mean like… speaking to someone in the same room? While they’re looking at you? With their eyes?!

Goofy at the bottom

From the phrasing and context, I was expecting something else when I clicked.

Found the original panel, can’t find the whole comic.

NSFW obviously.

https://web.archive.org/web/20150607214351/http://www.imageweb.ws/media/images/3/aladdin-porn/aladdin-porn-311775.jpg

Don’t forget the Snake game.

Assuming it survives the fall to the bottom of the elevator shaft, the building management should be able to retrieve it for you.

At first I thought this was an announcement from Microsoft.

Krombiception, of course.

…you do have krombiception, don’t you?

“Expressed greater intent to commit rape”

I would really like to know how they measured this. I get the feeling that the men being studied didn’t come out and state, “yes, I have a greater intent to rape” on a survey or something. The researchers must have been using something as a proxy for “intent to rape”.

I’d also like to see the stats for how many of the men have actually raped someone. For example, if 86% are rated as “more likely to rape” after watching porn, but 99.9% don’t rape anyone, then that would suggest there is no correlation between porn and rape.

According to my extensive 30 seconds of research, the difference is that a sauce is an integral ingredient, but a condiment is added after the dish is served. In which case, ketchup can be either or both, even in the same dish.

Merde