Microplastics weren’t enough, let’s give the sealife macroplastics.

No volume, vibrate, led, or push notifications. If you want my attention badly enough, call. And I will screen the call and text you back at my convenience. I will not be on a leash. Now excuse me while I doomscroll for 2 to 17 hours.

For the cats, at least. I wouldn’t recommend doing it for yourself. I learned that the hard way.

My cats will be about to throw up, so I’ll slide a paper towel under them, and they will try to move to get back to the floor.

You’re absolutely right, as that cat will puke in the most inconvenient spot.

Some rocks have an invisible field around them. If you pass metal through this field, you can make your hand tingle.

True, but most of the oppressors are boomers.

Weak men created hard times. Thanks, boomers.

It’s the worst day to be on the internet.

I don’t doubt it, so I’m drinking my fill while I can.

A slideshow would be great when my hands are full of toys

All I use reddit for is porn now, so the ads are really easy to spot. Like if I see someone trying to show me tupperware when I was just looking at goth girls and femboys, I know to keep scrolling.