All the signs of becoming sentient

Had one of those electric bug zappers on the wall at work what was hooked to a wall switch. I taped it in ON position with a note ‘keep on’ and every once in a while some eager closer picked off the tape to switch it off along with the other ones in the row.

My alarm cannot be anything with a real melody or I will hum it for hours on. I use some default tune what’s more of a trill, does the job. My text/email alert used to be popping the bottle cap sound, my current phone has some brrp noise close enough to a fart to make me giggle - I’m old but not mature.

As for ring tones, I used to purchase some for pocket change from the last page of the tv guide. All fun and games until all the old relatives started dropping like flies. It just doesn’t feel right to get an invitation to another funeral preceded by the Scissors Sisters ‘I don’t feel like dancing’ or Eamon’s ‘fuck you’. For a long time my ring tone was the old school land line ringing. From the moment I was able to choose the ring tone from my playlist it has been ‘Heavy Cross’ by Gossip. I feel it’s suitable for all occurrences while being only mine.

Osakmakwabane, he went by Osas

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

Disclaimer: I’ve only seen Furryiosa on pics and videos but it looks like she is not albino but merely a white cat with a bit of pigmented skin between the ears and maybe on the butt. She reminds me so much of my late Blondie who had one long black hair on her hip and 3-4 on her mullet as a kitten. I admit my vanity, I plucked them out with tweezers and they never grew back but that didn’t turn a white cat into an albino. Hears what she chooses to as they do

And Santa is not real

All the Rudolfs are roasted

Thank you, I appreciate these little back stories so much!

How long has Melvin been a member of your pack now and can you massage his toes?

Oh, Miette! I’d forgotten how much I missed that!

That’s [greengrocer’s apostrophe](greengrocers apostrophe https://g.co/kgs/1gWQ9nT)

I seem to have an extended version of this, it’s entertained me for years

Are they all named Charlotte?

You can make tea out of nearly any plant. They are infusions rather than true tea but raspberry leaf or sprig tea is damn tasty

Those cats on the street are not meowing, they are yowling. That’s a holler to intimidate or to fight, over a territory or hot ladies. That’s not a meow for a human to fill the food bowl or give scritches or something else tame and domestic.

The red stripes and that hat are characteristic to Wally/Waldo, name depending on the continent.