When I got married 25 years ago, I had black army boots with red laces. (Not for the wedding, everyday wear). My ex mother in law found the red laces unsuitable and bought me black ones to be prim and proper. I was still young and malleable enough to cave. My blue mohawk last year would have made her nope out

Oh, we were very young and on the verge of poverty. One didn’t go around wasting food

One time when we were young, a pot of milk based vegetable soup (traditional thing, you love it or hate it) was forgotten on the table when we went to party out of town for a day or two mid summer. When we got back, the soup was a few hours short of developing sentience, surprisingly no mold but quite lively. My friend turned that potful into thick American style pancakes and these were the best I’ve ever had

The confidence of that loaf is 10/10 tho

Did they let you in without the thumb print or were you left out then?

Cheers, Crawford!

He’s vaguely cat shaped

I never saw my parents together so for embarrassingly long I believed they didn’t know each other at all.

I was a flower girl in my father’s wedding at the age of 7. Bet his missis wasn’t delighted but her crotch goblins were not out of the nappies yet. The party was fab tho, proper village long table with prolly about hundred people in the middle of nowhere with a lot of live music, food and vodka.

I was in my teens (living with my grandma the whole life) when my mother asked if I want to come to the nearest town for family photos on Saturday and I said yeah no, it’s sauna day you know. Turned out I missed my mother’s wedding because I had to wash my hair. Still joined them in the afternoon for my mom’s birthday and as it turned out the afterparty. So yeah, technically I have attended both my parents’ weddings.

All the signs of becoming sentient

Had one of those electric bug zappers on the wall at work what was hooked to a wall switch. I taped it in ON position with a note ‘keep on’ and every once in a while some eager closer picked off the tape to switch it off along with the other ones in the row.

My alarm cannot be anything with a real melody or I will hum it for hours on. I use some default tune what’s more of a trill, does the job. My text/email alert used to be popping the bottle cap sound, my current phone has some brrp noise close enough to a fart to make me giggle - I’m old but not mature.

As for ring tones, I used to purchase some for pocket change from the last page of the tv guide. All fun and games until all the old relatives started dropping like flies. It just doesn’t feel right to get an invitation to another funeral preceded by the Scissors Sisters ‘I don’t feel like dancing’ or Eamon’s ‘fuck you’. For a long time my ring tone was the old school land line ringing. From the moment I was able to choose the ring tone from my playlist it has been ‘Heavy Cross’ by Gossip. I feel it’s suitable for all occurrences while being only mine.

Osakmakwabane, he went by Osas

From the tip of your right thumb to your left nipple. Too sensible?

Disclaimer: I’ve only seen Furryiosa on pics and videos but it looks like she is not albino but merely a white cat with a bit of pigmented skin between the ears and maybe on the butt. She reminds me so much of my late Blondie who had one long black hair on her hip and 3-4 on her mullet as a kitten. I admit my vanity, I plucked them out with tweezers and they never grew back but that didn’t turn a white cat into an albino. Hears what she chooses to as they do

And Santa is not real

All the Rudolfs are roasted

Thank you, I appreciate these little back stories so much!

How long has Melvin been a member of your pack now and can you massage his toes?

Oh, Miette! I’d forgotten how much I missed that!