Miles O'Brien

I assume "oopsie woopsie " is not a typical phrase in the Netherlands, and it’s like Ned Flanders from The Simpsons saying “whoospie doodle”?

“my car brain cannot fathom how such places can exist, where is the parking, why aren’t there more lanes???”

To many people nowadays, the actual job itself doesn’t matter, it’s the fact that it’s a job and it pays.

Turns out, productivity soars when you have a well rested, well compensated, well treated, healthy, and housed people who don’t have constant stessors of literally every aspect of their lives nearly crumbling beneath them…

This is why there are varying carrots in my stew.

Some go in early to get that carrot flavor in the stock, which I like, but that makes them mushy and gross.

So I usually try and get the first carrots out before the potatoes go in, and then it’s kind of a guess on my end when to put more carrots in so they’re nicely cooked but not overdone.

Let’s say left door lies and right door tells the truth. Right door leads out.

Left door would lie and say “right door would tell you I am the door that leads out”

Right door would tell the truth, and say “left door would say LEFT door leads to freedom”. Since left door does not lead to freedom, left door would lie and say that left door is the correct one.

No matter which door you ask, they will have the same answer.

So you would choose the opposite door of whichever one they say.

Everyone makes fun of Tim, but BUT WAS RIGHT!

LOOK AT THE BONES!!!

My sense of humor tends to skew towards absurdism the closer to midnight it gets.

Shit posts make me giggle. I show her and she’s just confused.

It really doesn’t help when half the shitposts are star trek related.

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nearly kills her

Based on the picture of the broken square section, I think that might be a bit of a stretch…

But “person avoids injury at final destination screening” doesn’t have that same allure.

Ohio resident for grade school, they did it at 4 different school districts across every grade.

Can’t speak for anyone else.

Or teacher didn’t even see this, handed it to a high school student and said “grade this stack of papers”

I had that happen several times in science classes in 3rd-8th grade. Eventually I started arguing with the teachers in class, and boy did they not like being corrected.

Sorry Ms Avery, you not knowing that “Pb” is the abbreviation of the Latin word “plumbum”, where we also get “plumbing” from due to its use in piping in rome, doesn’t mean I got the answer wrong. To her credit, she looked it up and changed my grade before the end of class.

Ms hoschouli from 7th grade can get fucked though, a parallel circuit increases amperage load, not voltage load. I knew more about electronics in 7th grade than a college graduate who teaches science class, which in hindsight isn’t that impressive considering it was general science and not electronics specific… But in 7th grade, as far as I was concerned I was hot shit for knowing more than the teacher, and getting detention for calling her out in the middle of class. Never got the grade changed and I only got out of detention because my parents called the school.

I once got in trouble with my math teacher for saying “well if we’re just making things up, then sure [I cheated on a math test while sitting in the front of class where the teacher can see but I was using some kind of hidden code on my t-shirt that was a bunch of Shakespearean insults] . But what about all that Crack you were doing in your car this morning?”

Apparently my "making things up"was a slightly more serious than his. I stand by it. If we’re making shit up, we’re making shit up.

For the record, this geometry teacher was convinced I was cheating in class because I didn’t do homework. Homework was 5% of the final grade for the year according to his syllabus, I hated homework, so I figured as long as I didn’t suck at the rest of the class, I could do 0 homework and pass. I was right, passed with a 94%

That seems more like “these kids don’t know basic things and/ or their names” rather than “these kids don’t know colloquialisms from previous decades”

Paper is still everywhere and staples are everywhere. How do they not know what a stapler is?

A hypothetical response when someone complains that they can’t use a certain soap over a mildly flowery scent.

“you are so beautiful…”

incredulous stare

“to me…”

monstrous roar from the other side of the mall

Well I know what I’m watching tonight… No joke my sister and I used to watch that multiple times a week as teens

“can we get you anything?”

“ice cream…”

“okay, what flavor?”

“it doesn’t matter… It’s for my ass”

You’re right, you clearly don’t have anything of substance to say.