KingJalopy

Where’s your crown, King nothing?

He can’t read, so that makes sense.

“reloading”

Pretty sure that’s what diapers are

They actually just move inside your walls for the most part. Waiting. Plotting. Breeding.

You’ll find that anywhere. Not just on the Internet, either. Literally, everywhere.

I live in California and see maybe 20 every day. It never gets old laughing at them. Had a customer yesterday who owned one as well as a model s. The S was in his garage but not his toy truck. He was a douche so I fucked with him.

“How do you like your truck?”

“Love it, it’s so sick bro”

“How come you don’t park it in your garage with your car? Will it not fit?”

“No, it just barely fits, but I like having it outside so people see it.”

“Aren’t you worried about people fucking with it or it rusting? Heard they rust easily”

“Where did you hear that? This baby is stainless steel!”

“Literally everywhere on the internet, that’s why so many people get it wrapped apparently. Also, have you taken it in for any of the recalls?”

“It hasn’t had any recalls bro, this thing is perfect”

“Hmm. I heard it had like 5 recalls already, you should look into it.”

“That’s just haters taking shit dude it isn’t true.”

“Yeah, you’re prolly right. This thing gets a lot of hate from like everyone for being ridiculous and impractical, but Elon musk made it so it must be awesome.”

“Bro literally invented spaceships dude he’s a legit genius.”

“Pretty sure he didn’t invent them. He just owns the company.”

He proceeded to explain that he may not have made the first one but he’ll be the first to get man to Mars and spaceships weren’t cool until he made them that way. He used the truck as evidence of his genius and how he will be humanities savior. I was fucking speechless honestly. The only thing genius about this is he cornered the fucking enormous douchebag market so well they gaslight themselves into believing that we’re all jealous and or too poor to understand. I spray for bugs for a living. This guy got water sprayed on his property and I don’t feel even remotely bad about it.

At recognizing fire hydrants…

What a dumb headline. Not sure why I’m surprised.

It just opened imgur site on jerboa

No offense but I wouldn’t pay $49 for that. Maybe $48.75, but not $49.

Are they so dumb They don’t realize that when we pause a video we are likely not watching or even near our fucking phone or screen at that time?

Viral marketing at it’s best. I’m not even sure where that is but I wanna show them my hole so it can be serviced promptly.

I dunno, that was at least coherent if not incredibly dumb.

I remember meticulously going through the links and hoping the one I clicked would pull up a good picture because I knew it would take a few minutes to load and it used to piss me off when I got a shitty one. So anytime I got a good one I would secretly print it and hide it for later use.

Things I’ve never heard said before

They have to put air in it so your salt isn’t crushed during shipping.

Dude, that’s sick, thank you! I wish I had a better pic to offer but this is the best I can do since Jerboa app is not currently letting me upload pictures in a comment…

🤘🏼

I see it! That’s pretty cool.

Can’t tell if that’s a horrible wallpaper or a totally fucked up screen

Ah shit, here we go again