Man fuck allstate

Rabies kills within about two weeks of symptoms appearing. It can sit dormant in the body for years before then. And although it’s rare, squirrels can absolutely get rabies, and rabies isn’t the type of thing you just assume isn’t an issue.

Guy had a squirrel that he cared for after it was injured and kept as a pet because when he (allegedly) tried to release the squirrel it turned up at his door sometime later injured again. (Brief recollection the story is online)

Anyway the city found out and confiscated (right word?) it because owning wild animals is illegal and euthanized it to test for rabies.

Edit: as other have pointed out, the squirell also apparently bit a police officer.

Yes, euthanization is necessary to test for rabies because rabies is freakishly good at staying under the radar until it’s too late. That’s why you need to keep your pets’ shots up to date.

I don’t think the Onion was originally meant to sound real though. It’s just gotten that way because of how absurd our actual current events are.

Similar to how the “Weekend Update” segment on SNL used to be primarily joke headlines (with the exception of the OJ Simpson trial), but now they can literally make an entire segment using actual footage from a Trump rally.

I follow The Onion on BlueSky and there’s been a couple times where I’ve had to double check the account because it’s just so believable.

New Trump Ad Shows Montage Of People He’ll Kill If Elected | Onion News Network

Better miserable bastards than fascists

Damn I’m kinda jealous

Send it to that geoguesser guy on Youtube

I was offered a COVID shot at my physical today and I still felt the need to ask if they had enough in supply lol

Old Viking talk thor was underrated imo.

Honestly that just means you won twice

Damn I didn’t know they killed hangouts

All four people who used it must’ve been devastated

Probably the AI-smudging

https://pixelrepair.withgoogle.com/

Worth noting that the calibration is for when you replace your phone screen, because often the phone screen comes with a new fingerprint scanner and for some reason the phone won’t recognize it without a firmware update.

IDK what pixel you have, but iirc some of them are just known for having kinda shitty scanners. I have a pixel six with a glass screen protector and I often have to try more than once.

There’s only like one notable website I’ve had to use chromium for instead of Firefox.

The website for recalibrating a Google Pixel’s fingerprint sensor. I’ve had to use that website twice, and I just used Microsoft Edge to do it since I can’t uninstall it.

Okay but is preventing aging worth suppressing your immune system? That’s seems like a bad idea

“Our records show your laptop has been powered off for the last week? What happened”

“My house is gone and I needed to find a place for me and my family to live.”

“Hmmm. Okay, but just remember we’re a team here and everyone needs to contribute to be successful! Try to let us know next time you’re going to be away, okay?”

On a scale of 1-10 how accurate was I

This but shiny pokemon cards

Someone should rerun the Jerry Falwell ad with Trump on the headline

Okay I know the manga and the video the original meme referenced but what is this one adding