So join ICE and starting shooting american ICE officers. You have immunity to kill US citizens apparently if you do so might as well use it for good

Money and really good friends

They DON’T

Unless you are doing that on purpose, then well played lol

it’s like eye bleach when reading

Try to find a “European Deli”

They always have salted licorice of various kinds, at least in my area.

They are not for the faint of heart if you didn’t grow up with them

Hope you find them!

That’s not an onion article for me, I hate the company I work for but I’m too much of a loser to lose the paycheck. I make over 25 an hour and that’s hard to find without new skills that I cant afford to obtain.

Honestly I don’t need millions I just need my cost of living covered which is about 25 dollars an hour

I think the best response, because it amuses me greatly, is to reply simply with “as if”

I wait to see if they figure out that I’m just pointing out 2 words they missed saying at the beginning of that phrase to make it resemble what they intended.

Men wearing clothes like that to an office job isn’t a thing? Or clothing kind that for men isn’t a thing? Having recently gone to a rave I can confirm clothing like that does in fact exist

That would be the staring vacantly part of the description above, I think?

Sam Elliott stache is epic

Yeah! I’ll throw an edit to this response later! Just got to an event and the edible just kicked in. Have a great night!

Make me feel like an the intrusive thoughts that Han my self esteem are exactly correct and I shouldn’t bother struggling against them anymore.

The point of no return for me was Bumble. Advertising a dating site that forced women to initiate interaction and continuing to get only silence in spite of paying for it.

Great I matched! Crickets

Rinse repeat until I feel like scum at the bottom of everyone’s shoes.

Who can’t liiiiive with or without you

United my ass

Nope

I disagree with your entire take.

Hahaha my story is similar but not nearly as fun.

I went for a walk, back in those days “go outside and play” meant I don’t want to see you until the sun goes down, so I walked to strip mall where the video rental store we went to at the time was, as well as a few other places and a safeway we shopped at.

I was however old you would be between grade 2 and 5, and started playing with a phone. And kind yourself I thought you had to put money in it for it to work. I knew how to read and PAYphone seemed pretty self explanatory so I started pressing buttons pretending to call people. Well I had learned about 9-1-1 recently so I pressed those numbers and kept playing around. Well I didn’t have the headset near me but I did realize afterwards i did hear a voice though not what they were saying.

It wasn’t until I heard the sirens that i clued into why I was hearing them. I definately ran away thinking the cops were looking for me, so I ran into the bush where I knew some places to hide because of course the cops knew who I was and that it was me who used the phone without paying and they were looking for me to be arrested and that I was gonna go to jail forever if they caught me. They didn’t because I was so good at hiding if course

What if there first time I called 911 I didn’t have to call 911?

Blue-dress-level?

I learned BEDMAS. Doesn’t really change your comment other than effectively “spelling” of a single term

It’s like the grocery stores that have digital price tags on them that they can adjust at anytime. They totally going to do surge pricing and other bullshit. I complete expect oh you picked up that item? Purchase just gotta up as soon as it’s touched