I thought you mean he’d mailed it to you.

That makes me want to see if an old blog is still posting… Overheard on the Tube, Overheard in London, something like that…

Maybe something like a Teasmade, which you can set to make tea at a certain time, like a caffeinated alarm clock.

I honestly don’t know if he meant that as a joke or an advert.

That’s a hilarious solution.

I’m surprised that this is a genuine answer, I was expecting something else with a product name like that.

Wired headphones are great, and my mouse has a cable too. I might be a dinosaur.

This is definitely the common one, even if it is a bit wordier than some others suggested here.

No idea what the downvotes are about.

Slapping palms as a form of greeting a friend and then holding their hand as you pull your fingers back until it makes a snapping sound.

Thank you, Urban Dictionary!

Hang on, if you’re using CrowdStrike but not getting the updates, then why are you using it at all?

Americans visited the UK during WW2’s rationing and never updated their stereotypes.

Road distances are in miles if you’re driving, but if you’re running (maybe also cycling?) then it’s in km.

Next is the Doubly Extended Three Letter Acronym.

Ackchyually, they never said which average they meant, you just assumed mean.

And it’s not even that hard, just try the sentence with he/him to test it out:

• Who lives above? He lives above.

• Whom is this for? This is for him.

I thought it was more that they drank it and it was cleaner. Same for tea.