For me, the reason it is hard out there is because I am super careful when trying to pick someone up and they end up mistaking my pickup lines for friendly banter and I end up getting friendzoned.
Plus I am super choosy myself and take long to crush on someone and then take super long to get over a crush. (o﹏o)
But I agree that listening to toxic males like Tate will likely not make it easier.
But tbh it always makes it even more difficult to get over them. As I said, I do not crush that easily (like one every three years). And I really value their friendship but I never managed to find someone who is romantically compatible in 24 years (after effectively looking for 10 years).
And then society seems to expect me to make the first move but why should I even try if all I get is a circle of rejection. And all I keep hearing is “you’ll find someone eventually” but the 20s is supposed to be the time you get the most hook ups yet here I am almost halfway through and still no progress in sight.
And I see my mom slowly giving up on me as if I failed them. (I mean, she’s still loving and caring but I can see that it bothers her almost as much as it bothers me) and some of my friends even start to think I am asexual.
And every time I see couples I get so mixed up in my emotions. I am happy for them but also sad because it reminds me how lonely I am. This goes up to the point where I completely shut myself in on Valentine’s just to escape the emotional pain.
And people tell me how “things will get better” but they started telling me in 2018 and things haven’t changed a bit since then. Even worse I think that the competition is gaining experience whilst I just stay on 0 which is even more frustrating.
And I am constantly in conflict with myself if I should lower my standards (which seems impossible to lower them further without ending in a toxic relationship or something I am just not feeling) or just stay single (which doesn’t solve my problem)…
The up side is that apart from that my life is actually quite nice so please don’t worry about me too much I’m still doing fine and I got professional help (which just hasn’t really given me any helpful answers to my problem apart from that things will eventually turn out)…
In fact, I feel conflicted writing this. I don’t want pity (as I said, I am fine apart from what I’ve just explained) but at the same time I really needed to vent
I made it two paragraphs in, you need to talk to someone about your emotions.
You may think that you’re not showing this negativity and sadness on the surface, but I can guarantee your potential partners are picking up on it immediately.
You can’t build a successful relationship without starting from a good place. You’re starting from a bad place with negative expectations each time.
Until you address the only constant (your emotions and negative self-image) in this cycle of rejection as you call it, you’ll never succeed in a relationship.
For me, the reason it is hard out there is because I am super careful when trying to pick someone up and they end up mistaking my pickup lines for friendly banter and I end up getting friendzoned.
Plus I am super choosy myself and take long to crush on someone and then take super long to get over a crush. (o﹏o)
But I agree that listening to toxic males like Tate will likely not make it easier.
The Friendzone doesn’t exist, you’re just not compatible together romantically and you made a friend.
Best way I’ve heard it.
Friendzone is bullshit, because women are not vending machines that accept nice and dispense sex.
But tbh it always makes it even more difficult to get over them. As I said, I do not crush that easily (like one every three years). And I really value their friendship but I never managed to find someone who is romantically compatible in 24 years (after effectively looking for 10 years).
And then society seems to expect me to make the first move but why should I even try if all I get is a circle of rejection. And all I keep hearing is “you’ll find someone eventually” but the 20s is supposed to be the time you get the most hook ups yet here I am almost halfway through and still no progress in sight.
And I see my mom slowly giving up on me as if I failed them. (I mean, she’s still loving and caring but I can see that it bothers her almost as much as it bothers me) and some of my friends even start to think I am asexual.
And every time I see couples I get so mixed up in my emotions. I am happy for them but also sad because it reminds me how lonely I am. This goes up to the point where I completely shut myself in on Valentine’s just to escape the emotional pain.
And people tell me how “things will get better” but they started telling me in 2018 and things haven’t changed a bit since then. Even worse I think that the competition is gaining experience whilst I just stay on 0 which is even more frustrating.
And I am constantly in conflict with myself if I should lower my standards (which seems impossible to lower them further without ending in a toxic relationship or something I am just not feeling) or just stay single (which doesn’t solve my problem)…
The up side is that apart from that my life is actually quite nice so please don’t worry about me too much I’m still doing fine and I got professional help (which just hasn’t really given me any helpful answers to my problem apart from that things will eventually turn out)…
In fact, I feel conflicted writing this. I don’t want pity (as I said, I am fine apart from what I’ve just explained) but at the same time I really needed to vent
I made it two paragraphs in, you need to talk to someone about your emotions.
You may think that you’re not showing this negativity and sadness on the surface, but I can guarantee your potential partners are picking up on it immediately.
You can’t build a successful relationship without starting from a good place. You’re starting from a bad place with negative expectations each time.
Until you address the only constant (your emotions and negative self-image) in this cycle of rejection as you call it, you’ll never succeed in a relationship.