I was just sitting at the mall taking a break from mall walking. A man walked over to me when I wasn’t even looking up. He said "I haven’t seen you here before. " I said I wasn’t really here to talk to people and got up and walked away. He said he would leave, he may even have said sorry. I said I was ready to leave anyway. In retrospect I think he may have just been slightly mentally challenged so I wish I had been a little softer, he did not turn out to be aggressive. Looking for suggestions on something still clear and firm but more polite? This scared me for some reason, I think how fast he walked up and sat down near me.
Editing to add a key detail, he sat down close to me which is probably what made me more nervous than I would have otherwise been. I appreciate all the thoughtful feedback I’ve gotten and interesting discussion.
Not what anyone here means. But telling little boys that they’re all worthless evil rapists isn’t healthy either. Do not be surprised when they listen to someone who tells them they’re worth something. Do you really want that someone to be Andrew Tate? Because that’ll definitely end up worse for women (and society in general).
Antagonizing little boys isn’t the way we get out of this.
No one is saying that here.
How is OP antagonizing little boys by not engaging in small talk with a man she doesn’t know?
We’re in a thread talking about a growing problem with young men, and you’re asking “How will it impact the lives of women”. I’m just trying to answer the question… Just take a few seconds to reflect on how the message you’re spreading throughout the whole thread (that 1/3 women have been raped, etc) can be received by young boys. That stat you quote elsewhere about 52% of men feeling we discriminate against men, why do you think they feel that way?
Overall, I agree that there’s been a problem with discrimination towards women, and sexual abuse is a problem. But the way to solve it is to teach people about consent, not to treat every man as a rapist.
https://sh.itjust.works/post/68309381/27940884
I was responding to a specific comment.
I am not going to obfuscate facts because some men feel defensive that the majority of rapists share a gender with them. These are truths. It shouldn’t be on women to shut up about what our lives entail because it makes some boys and men feel icky.
If they want less women to be raped, then they need to join with us to help tackle the rates of sexual assault.
That’s exactly what I push for here and have never treated every man as a rapist. More education, more sex education, more knowledge about consent and what rape really looks like (it’s not all forcible rape, etc), more empathy for girls and women.
Fair enough. But some of the attitude here seems to be “ewww creepy guy talked to you, you narrowly avoided rape” when in all likelyhood the dude was probably just awkward… We need more empathy in general, not just towards girls and women.
It’s not that she definitely avoided rape by doing so, it’s an explanation why women don’t have to give men the benefit of doubt. That man’s feelings aren’t more important than her safety.
There’s also the attitude here that she was being super rude and mean to this man even though he was rude for insisting on a conversation first.
Women do not have to be polite to men just because men want them to be.
He didn’t insist, per OP he backed off immediately when the attempt to initiate a conversation was rejected. And IMO attempting to start a conversation in public is not clearly rude.