But, but… How do we extract value from it? No micro transactions? No ad revenue? Can we sell it? Write it off as a loss? Is there at least a credit card reader so aliens can sign up for recurring payments?

Looks like a DIY opportunity.

I’d still have wires IF MY PHONE HAD A PLACE TO PLUG THEM IN.

Don’t think so… Found the HISHE video [here].(https://youtu.be/WG3_gnKSDh4)

Did see that scene in the video. Any other guesses?

This is it. I’ve never been able to learn a new programming language looking at tutorials. I always start with a problem (use case) and build from there. A basic knowledge of concepts like loops, conditionals, and passing/returning values in a function are the building blocks. Eventually you start to get tired of copy/pasting code so you find things like abstraction and inheritance. Then you’ll find ways to optimize or use someone’s library of premade functionality instead of starting from scratch.

And if you get really, really good you start writing things from scratch again in unique and highly optimized ways. Those are the really fun projects, imo, but not the ones that pay.

I created a satirical Employee Handbook that, among other things, mocked the entire management chain and codified some of the unwritten rules among employees.

It was a crappy retail job so no real loss.

She’s not fucking around. Put a ring on it.

Honestly, I think six is likely the right number for this to work. I don’t recall how many boys were in Lord of the Flies, but you get to 10-15 and you’re absolutely going to start forming factions. And a hierarchy. And with more opinions you get more disagreements, and you’re right back to Lord of the Flies.

I’m sorry I asked.

Example?

I don’t know how the Onion survives today. You can’t make this shit up, it would be too absurd.

Be me, 16 yo., in basement bedroom chilling. Hear/feel a thud feels like the whole house just got picked up and dropped a few inches. Meet dad’s fiance who had been chilling in the den at the top of the stairs, confused. Eventually look outside through the darkness to see something strange in the front yard. Jump in the car, swing the headlights around to reveal a smoking wreck wrapped around a pine tree in the front yard. Rush out to find what remains of the driver gurgling his last attempts at breaths. Call 911, volunteer firefighters show up within minutes. Nothing to be done. Dude was paste from the inside out. Drunk driving, speeding, and didn’t make the curve.

As an aside, DOT shows up a few days later to trim all of our pine trees with branches at ground level to have no branches below about six feet. Presumably to make it easier the next time? Looked ridiculous.

But yeah, that gurgle was something else. Never heard anything like it before or since.

We had a presentation at work that the VPs were so proud of and proclaimed to be the future of business with AI. Ready? Are you sure? The pure vision involved is staggering, and I want you to be prepared for it. Ok, here goes:

Here’s the scenario… A buyer gets an email from another employee to buy something for the business. The buyer opens an AI bot and tells it to search their email for purchase requests. The AI identifies which emails are likely purchase requests. The buyer then asks the AI to see the first one. It is a purchase request! Hooray! The AI sees that the amount is over a certain dollar amount. It asks, “Do you want to forward it to your manager for approval?” “Why, yes, thank you!” It then sends a kindly worded email on their behalf to their manager. Eventually, the manager replies and the next time the buyer opens their AI chatbot it notices the response and interprets the response as an approval. “Would you like to process this purchase request?” “Yes please, almighty chat bot!” The application then copies what it thinks are the relevant data (carefully formatted for the success of the demo, of course) into a web form open in a browser window for the buyer to submit to the purchasing system.

Mid-six figure executives of this fortune 100 company, some with C__ in their titles, applauded. They shook hands. They beamed and professed the future was here and we were on the forefront of it.

Not a single Vice President in this “technology company” bothered asking WHY THE FUCK WE WERE MAKING PURCHASE REQUESTS BY FUCKING EMAIL. Like, maybe we should go back to 1999 and master digital workflows first? Or at this point even pay some consultant hacks to implement some of that RPA crack they were peddling a decade before that we dropped $10M on? Or maybe, maybe, take Microsoft’s dick out of our mouths long enough to ask whether ANY of this makes sense!

The future has arrived. This bubble can’t pop soon enough.

They’re ads for microphones. Any brand logo you can see clearly in-frame I assume is a paid product placement. Your favorite folksy, down to earth content creator just “keeping it real” has to make a living. And sponsorships and advertising is how it has been done since the start. Your favorite personality, at the end of the day, is an actor working for corporations.

Easy Macius

That sounds completely logical to me. Did having a hunk of aluminum answer the question for you? Or did it only drive a more insatiable desire to hold elemental materials?

Six years later, at least I know how to weld now. Sort of.

The most important part of the Dunning Kruger curve! And welding is a fantastic example. You go from “this hot melty thing is scary” to “dang, I can make metal stick to itself!” to “that weld looks kinda professional” to “holy crap there’s a whole science and art to this I will never have the time to fully learn”.

Is your school bus now something usable? Would love to hear about a successful impulse buy!

This comic is dumb. That CEO would have a prepared and well rehearsed response to that question with a bunch of big words and some dog whistle to keeping immigrants from raping your daughters. “The free market can perform the function of rehabilitation better than some bloated bureaucracy. With state-run prisons, inmates of all kinds are released early because there isn’t enough room, regardless of the nature of their crime. This way, you and your family can sleep safely, can attend little league games, and walk down your streets without having to worry what is hiding just around the corner.”

Thinking about the whole “Antifa is a terror organization” announcement from our dear leader.

Next step: “It is un-American not to have Disney+ in your household. Only members of Antifa or trans people don’t have Disney+. It will be mandatory for every patriotic God loving US citizen to have Disney+ in their home and on at least three hours per week. Anyone found not to be watching the party approved level of Disney programming will be taxed $21.99 per month and the proceeds put into a new ‘Mickey Patriot Fund’.”